Movie Receives Standing Ovation for Having Actual Ending
Audiences stunned as film concludes without sequel bait or post-credits scenes.
Finneas Final
Staff Writer (Allegedly)
Theatergoers across the nation gave a 12-minute standing ovation this weekend for the new film "The Conclusion," which shocked audiences by actually ending.
"I couldn't believe it," said moviegoer Janet Credits. "The story wrapped up. The characters' arcs were complete. Nobody hinted at a cinematic universe. I wept tears of joy."
The film, directed by Finneas Final, tells a self-contained story with a clear beginning, middle, and most remarkably, an end.
"When the credits rolled, I just sat there," admitted viewer Tom Postscene. "I waited for the mid-credits scene. Then the post-credits scene. Then another scene after that. But nothing. It just... ended."
Theater employees reported that many audience members remained seated for up to 45 minutes after the film, unable to process what they had witnessed.
Director Final explained his unconventional approach: "I asked myself, 'What if the movie just told one story?' Hollywood executives called me insane. My therapist called me brave."
The film has earned a remarkable 99% on Rotten Tomatoes, with the sole negative review stating: "But what about part two?"
Studios are now scrambling to greenlight more "single-story films," though executives admit they're not entirely sure how that works.
Disclaimer: This article is entirely fictional and intended for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to actual events, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and probably funnier than we intended.
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