Study: 9 Out of 10 Statistics Made Up On the Spot

A new study from the Institute of Statistical Integrity has revealed that approximately 9 out of 10 statistics cited in news articles, business presentations, and casual conversations are completely fabricated.

"We were going to do rigorous research," admitted lead statistician Dr. Numbers McDataface, "but then we realized that would be a lot of work. So we just made up a number that sounded believable."

The study, which surveyed exactly zero people, found several alarming trends: - 73.6% of percentages are invented on the spot - The number 7 is used 847% more often than other numbers because "it just sounds scientific" - 4 out of 5 dentists don't actually recommend anything—they just want to be left alone

Dr. McDataface explained the methodology: "We basically just asked ourselves, 'What would sound credible?' Then we added a decimal point to make it look official."

The findings have sent shockwaves through the academic community. "This confirms our suspicions," said one peer reviewer who wished to remain anonymous. "Although technically, 67% of peer reviewers are also making things up."

When asked for comment, the American Statistical Association said they would "need to see the data," then burst into laughter.