Referee Admits He's Just Been Guessing This Whole Time

In a press conference that has rocked the sports world, veteran NFL referee Gerald Whistle admitted that in his 20-year career, he has been "essentially guessing" on every single call.

"I never learned the rules," Whistle confessed, visibly relieved. "On my first day, they gave me a rulebook, and I thought, 'That looks thick.' So I just winged it."

Whistle explained his methodology: "I would watch the players' faces. If someone looked really upset, I figured they probably did something wrong. If they looked confused, I knew I had made a good call."

The revelation explains several controversial moments in Whistle's career, including the infamous 2019 game where he called a "double reverse penalty timeout" and the 2021 incident where he ejected a player for "looking at him weird."

"The hand signals? I made those up," Whistle admitted. "Half the time I'm just doing jazz hands and hoping everyone goes along with it."

Fellow referees have come forward with similar confessions. "We have a group chat," revealed one anonymous official. "We just send each other memes during games and take turns guessing."

The NFL has announced it will review its referee training program, starting with confirming whether one actually exists.